Long Since Forgotten
by Lel Christo
Summary: Lena was caught before she had a chance to escape. She lost everything; including Alex. Now that she is cured she has lost all memory of her life before- a side effect of the cure. Not even Hana can make her remember. But there is perhaps only one person that can. Can Alex make Lena remember before it's too late for them to turn back? Is it already too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi readers, it's been a really long time- almost a year since I wrote a fanfic. Sorry about that. If you haven't read my last two fanfictions you can find them on my page. This fanfic I started yesterday and is based on the first Delirium book where instead of escaping to the wilds Lena is cured after being caught at 37 Brookes. Thank you all for your continued support I am so grateful. Have a read of this and let me know what you think and if it's worthwhile I'll update again soon. Thanks again **

1.

Thoughts raced through my frightened mind, one after the other; a never ending train of thoughts. I gripped the edge of the steel table and tried to relax my breathing by counting to one hundred, praying that was enough time to collect focus my thoughts and think clearly again. Only then would I be able to figure a way out of this horrible situation. _There's always a way,_ my mother used to tell me. I strained to get my brain to fixate on that tiny ray of hope. Never again would I have thought my mother's words would calm me and bring me peace.

I struggled to keep my heavy eyelids open, knowing this was the result of whatever the nurses had injected into me before. I knew I had seconds, if not minutes before my eyes would close indefinitely. After that there was no way out, this would be the end. I needed to keep them open. As long as they remained open I would be safe. As soon as they closed the world I knew would slip away from me, more importantly, Alex would slip away from me.

"It hasn't kicked in yet, she's still conscious." One of the women leaned over me and quickly informed the other. "We are running out of time." Her words echoed in my skull and I forced myself to swallow. I moved my hand to my side pinching my skin between my thumb and index finger. _Stay awake!_ my brain hissed at me.

"We can't know for sure how long it will take before she is unconscious and we can proceed. The medication works differently on everyone." The other nurse explained calmly.

"We don't have enough time!" the other one repeated at a louder volume.

"It's going to be okay Margaret. We have guards surrounding the perimeter; there is no one that can stop up from performing the procedure." I could feel my eyes beginning to close. "Margaret look, her heartbeat is slowing down; it shouldn't be much longer now."

Margaret sighed, "We shouldn't have to rush this. If everything had gone to plan-"

"Well it didn't." The other woman snapped. "That stupid boy, Alex, got in the way." I opened my eyes wider, suddenly alert at the sound of his name spoken. Both women ignored the beeping of the monitor as my heart beat sped up once again.

"Did they catch him?" Margaret asked softly, however still loud enough for me to hear. I knew she _wanted_ me to hear.

The other woman paused, glancing quickly at me. "No, not yet." I relaxed then, there was still time. Still time for him to get away, I could find him afterwards. I knew I would be strong enough to fight this. Fight the cure. My mother had several times, so who says I couldn't as well? I could fool them long enough to find Alex and escape before any of them knew what hit them. I could escape.

"I think we should perform the cure now. There isn't much time. I would have rather waited until she was eighteen…" the woman trailed off.

"Okay let's do it now. The benefits outweigh the risks." Margaret picked up a syringe and injected something into my left arm.

Suddenly, I felt as if my body was on fire. I screamed a horrible, ear-piercing scream and thrashed my hands around. I couldn't do this. I couldn't live through this either. I struggled to take a breath, but forced myself to anyway. I had to live through this. And I would live through this. For Alex. I would do this for Alex. Because only after all of this, could both of us ever possibly be free.

Xxxx

My hand trembled as I lifted the rim of the teacup to my dry lips, sipping the liquid slowly, enough to satisfy my Aunt. She sat opposite me at the table, her hands clasped together and her lips pursed, watching me with cautious eyes. I carefully placed the teacup back of the saucer and folded my hands on my lap. My Aunt opened her mouth as if to speak but quickly shut it again, changing her mind. We watched eachother for what felt like hours, but were merely minutes.

Finally she spoke, "What is it you want to do today, Lena?" she ran her right hand through her messy hair, her eyes never shifting from my own.

I dropped my eyes and peered at my lap, twisting the hem of my skirt around my fingers. "What is it I normally do?" I ask softly.

My Aunt didn't speak, not even moving in her chair. "I could give Hana a call for you? Maybe you two could go for a bike ride?"

I nodded, "Alright."

My Aunt nodded in agreement and got up to fetch the phone off the coffee table in the living room. I listened as she punched in the numbers and pressed the phone against her ear. "Mrs Tate? Yes, hi, it's Carol." I turned in my chair slightly to listen better when she lowered her voice. "No, nothing. They say it's just a side effect the procedure had on her brain. They say her memory should come back within a month or so. No, not much. Although sometimes she looks at me like she almost does, but then that blank stare returns to her face."

I sighed; the words Carol spoke were true. I remembered nothing before waking up inside the hospital with Aunt Carol leaning over me. After that I remembered nothing, including people. It took a few days before I accepted that this woman was in fact my Aunt. Sometimes I was still not sure. This time Carol's voice was barely a whisper and I strained to hear. Carefully, I got off the chair and tiptoed over to the far wall, craning my neck to catch what my Aunt was trying to stop me from hearing.

"No they haven't found him. I wish they would. Everyday I'm terrified he'll be lurking somewhere to try and get her back." I pressed myself further against the wall, praying my Aunt would speak the tiniest bit louder. "Yes, of course. I know they will, I just hope they do before she remembers, so at least there is time to redo the cure if necessary. I don't want another repeat of her mother…"

My Aunt explained to me a few days ago that my mother had committed suicide many years ago. Told me she was sick from the disease they had managed to cure me of a week ago. Told me I was safe now, I wouldn't end up like her. My Aunt's words broke into my thoughts, "No, she doesn't remember him I don't think…" Remember who? Who was this person she kept mentioning? "Alright, yes, I'll drop her off soon. Good bye."

I hurried back to my seat, hoping my face didn't give away any sign that I had been eavesdropping on the conversation. My Aunt looked troubled as she resumed her place opposite me at the table. I could see she was clutching the phone in her hand so tight her knuckles had gone white. I also noticed the frown lines forming on her forehead. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Lena?" I forced my eyes to meet hers. "Lena, do you remember anything before you were given the cure?" her eyes pleaded with mine for the truth.

I shook my head. I wasn't lying either. I wish I could remember; I wish I could understand what she and Mrs Tate were talking about. But everything felt like it was completely wiped from my memory and now everything was blank. Sometimes I could have sworn tiny details from my past emerged before me, when I wasn't trying. But they disappeared as quickly as they had come. Her lips were pressed tightly together, forming a thin straight line below her nose. The way she stared at me carefully revealed to me she didn't believe me for whatever reason. Was I a liar before the cure?

Finally, she nodded and rose from the table, quickly grabbing her purse from where it lay on the kitchen bench. She gave me a once over before running a rough hand through my hair and letting it slip through her fingers and fall back down my back. "Hurry now, we don't want to leave Hana and her mother waiting long do we?"

I shook my head and fixed the collar on my blouse before following my Aunt out the front door to begin the long walk to Hana's house. I can't remember how long the walk was, but my Aunt insisted I used to be quite fit so I relaxed, prepared for the worst. We walked in silence for the whole twenty minutes, my Aunt keeping us both at a brisk pace. Occasionally I caught her looking at me and her eyes quickly looked away guiltily and I wished she would tell me whatever was on her mind. When we finally arrived at the Tate's place, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the huge place. As my Aunt climbed the stairs to the front door I could only stand there in wonder. I couldn't understand why our house didn't look like that.

My Aunt knocked on the huge wooden double doors while I climbed the stairs hesitantly. The way my Aunt Carol clutched her handbag I could tell she was nervous. She rushed to brush loose strands of hair out of her eyes and straighten the hem of her skirt, mumbling something inaudible to herself. She flitted her eyes to meet mine and then back to the spot on the floor. She looked like she was in a hurry to get this over with.

The door opened then and a woman with cropped blonde hair and light brown eyes stood before us. She only looked at my Aunt for a second but her eyes remained on mine. She stared at me from her place in the doorway and I watched as she looked me up and down, scrutinizing every tiny flaw. She finally smiled, obviously satisfied, but the way her lips curled at the side told me she was happy about something I couldn't understand. Something about my past I couldn't remember.

I looked up and noticed someone standing shyly behind her. She was hidden by her mother's body and all I could pick out from where I stood was a long blonde ponytail and a pair of very long legs. She pushed past her mother then, and stopped when she stood directly in front of me. She must have been half a foot taller than me with her sparkling blue eyes and big pink lips that turned up into a smile when she saw me. "L…Lena?"

I nodded, suddenly unsure of myself. Everyone knew who this Lena was and I still had no idea who I was and it made me uneasy. I had been told countless times that Hana Tate was my best friend. Now as I watched her flick her long shiny ponytail over one shoulder all in one swift, graceful movement; I couldn't understand how I was friends with someone like that. Not only was she beautiful, she had a home three times the size of mine. We were so different yet the way she watched me with excitement in her eyes it made me feel like we were just the same.

She hesitated, but then thought better of it and wrapped her long arms around my ting frame, squeezing my arms. She shook with laughter as she held me there; laughing at something I would never understand. But I laughed back because maybe it was possible to rebuild a life out of nothing. I could start anew. And what was wrong with that? Who could I possibly miss from my old life if I couldn't remember them?

**Reviews would be very much appreciated- let me know what you think. I've really missed you all.**

**~Lel**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, here is the second chapter. Any comments or reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks again.**

2.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Hana asked, smiling at me while sitting cross-legged on the carpet floor of her bedroom. She was trying so hard with me and although I didn't know her I understood how hard it must be for her having me not remember. I had hoped that when I came here all the secrets of my past would have emerged after spending time with her. Unfortunately, that hadn't happened yet. So rather than this being a reunion of sorts, it consisted mainly of me sitting on her huge double bed and her sitting opposite me on the floor, both of us staring at our shoes waiting for the other to speak.

"No, thanks." I replied quickly and Hana looked back down at her sneakers and the blanket of silence fell over us once again.

"So…" Hana fiddled with her long blonde hair, twisting it delicately around her fingers. "What do you want to do?"

I bit my lip. "What do I normally want to do?" the minute the words came out of my mouth Hana winced. I could tell that she had been banking on me remembering everything as soon as I saw her. Hana assumed she could make it all better. How could I explain to her that wasn't the case this time?

"We could go for a run? You used to like those." She didn't look at me, but rather focused on picking the rubber sole of her sneakers with her fingernail.

"Was I good at running?" I asked slowly, trying to imagine me running and being unable to do so.

Hana sighed, "Yeah you were. Better than me even." I found that hard to imagine. She jumped up from the floor, taking my hand in hers, "Why don't we go down to the kitchen? I'm sure I can find us something to eat there." I nodded slowly and she led me down the staircase to the kitchen. We passed her mother and Carol in the dining room; they were both sipping tea and making idle small talk.

"Hana?" Mrs Tate called. Hana stopped walking and let my hand fall back down to my side. She wandered over to her mother.

"Yes?"

Mrs Tate smiled at me, "Why don't you and Lena join us? Here, sit and have some tea."

"Oh, I was planning to-" Hana started.

"Lena would love to." My Aunt cut in, watching me with careful eyes. "Wouldn't you Lena?"

I nodded and Hana shrugged, sitting down beside her mother. I took a chair next to my Aunt. "So you really can't remember anything, dear?" Mrs Tate asked, taking a sip from the small porcelain teacup pressed against her pale lips.

"Unfortunately, no." My Aunt answered for me, to my relief. Hana's mother made me uneasy, though I couldn't quite figure out why.

A smile pulled at the corners of Mrs Tate's mouth and her eyes shone like she had a very precious secret she wasn't yet ready to share. "Unfortunately?" her tone told me she wanted me to answer this time.

I took a deep breath, "There are a lot of things I cannot remember. People for instance. I've forgotten almost everything." My eyes flashed to Hana who was playing with a silver bracelet on her wrist pretending she wasn't paying attention. But I know she was.

Mrs Tate frowned, "What _do_ you remember, Lena?"

I hesitated when Hana looked up at me expectantly. "I remember it was dark. I wasn't at home; I was somewhere I don't recognise." Hana leaned forward, her blue eyes searching mine, "There was a house… 37…" I stopped, straining my brain to remember.

"What were you doing there?" Mrs Tate pressed.

"I was meeting someone I think." I scan my memories, at least what is left for them, for some answer to this strange puzzle.

"Who were you meeting Lena?" Hana watched me and I sensed hope in her eyes. I knew there was an answer she was waiting for me to say but I couldn't say it. I didn't know what the right answer was here.

"I don't know." I admitted and Hana's face fell. She returned back to playing with the bracelet.

My Aunt and Mrs Tate were awfully quiet. It suddenly dawned on me that they all knew about the memory. They knew who I was meeting. "Who…?" I managed to choke out.

My Aunt shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Mrs Tate smiled triumphantly. Only Hana stared at me willing me to remember. I felt it was right there I just couldn't quite grasp it. Mrs Tate interrupted my thoughts, "That cure has done a world of good for you Lena. Some things should not be remembered." After that Hana left the room.

Xxxx

"Do you want to spend the night here?" my Aunt asked me, "It's okay if you want to say no." We were standing outside the Tate's house on the front lawn; my Aunt was ready to leave. Mrs Tate had invited me to stay the night so Hana and I could catch up, although Hana never voiced her opinion on the matter.

"I guess." I replied, maybe talking to Hana alone would do some good.

My Aunt shifted her weight to the other foot; I could tell she was eager to get home to my cousins Grace and Jenny. "Well, alright. I'll pick you up tomorrow then."

"It's okay, I can walk home-"

"No." My Aunt interrupted, "I will pick you up tomorrow." I nodded then, eager to get back inside the warm house rather than standing out in the cold with the wind whipping my dark hair across my face. My Aunt nodded and patted me on the shoulder before turning to walk back down the road. "Oh and Lena? Be careful." That was her final warning before disappearing into the looming darkness of the quiet street.

I turned to head back inside when I heard my name. I hadn't heard where it had come from, I wasn't even sure if I had heard it at all. It sounded like a trick of the wind, the voice too velvety to be real. I walked warily towards the tall trees to my left where I could have sworn I heard something move, the slight rustle of leaves when the wind wasn't blowing. "Lena!" this time I knew I hadn't imagined it. My heart raced as I edged closer to the tree.

"Lena!" I turned around to find Hana standing on the front porch calling to me. So I hadn't heard a mysterious voice from behind the trees after all. I almost laughed at the thought.

That night I lay uncomfortably on a mattress that lay beside Hana's bed on the floor. I couldn't get comfortable and I couldn't seem to get to sleep either. I didn't know whether Hana was asleep or not. I could only hear her light breathing against the pillow and the sound from the television both her parents were watching downstairs. Hana hadn't spoken to me most of the night. We'd eaten in silence and gone to bed in silence. Then again, what was there to say?

I froze as I heard footsteps outside the door and my breathing sped up without me realising. "Relax." Hana placed a gentle hand on my shoulder from her where she was curled up under her covers. "They are just getting ready for bed."

I relaxed then. "You're still awake?"

"Yeah," Hana breathed, "I can't sleep."

I sighed, "Me neither."

The lights outside turned off and the hallway went completely dark. I heard the bedroom door in the room opposite close with a soft click. I felt Hana ease beside me. I listened as she pushed the covers aside so she could sit up in her bed. I felt her hand that was still on my shoulder, give me a reassuring squeeze. "Lena, we're safe now, no one can hear."

I propped myself up on my elbows so I could see what she was doing. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness around us I made out her thin frame still seated on her bed. "Hear what?"

"The two of us talking." Hana replied as if it was obvious. As if it was obvious that the two of us were going to talk like the two best friends everyone keeps telling me we were. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and the memory of us sitting awkwardly this afternoon, neither of us having anything to say to the other.

I relaxed back against the pillows. "What are we going to talk about?"

Hana laughed, "You know. Tell me everything that happened!"

I tensed, "What?"

"Oh come on, Lena. I know you were faking memory loss out there with them. But we're all alone now, no one can hear. So tell me." She bounced excitedly on the mattress, crossing her legs as if ready for a story. I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, wishing I could tell her. Wishing I could even pretend we were the bestest of friends that she seemed to think we were. I didn't speak. "Lena?"

I broke down then, the tears spilling out over my cheeks and wetting the pillow I had covered my face with. Hana didn't move. "I'm so sorry Hana."

Hana rushed over to me and collected me in her long slender arms holding me tightly, like a promise that she would never let go. But I had to. "No Lena, I'm sorry this was all my fault."

"What?" I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand suddenly confused, "How can any of this be your fault?"

She tightened her grip of me and took a deep breath, "Lena, I was the one that-" she didn't get to finish. We froze at the sound of footsteps in the hall. "Don't worry," she whispered in my ear, "It's just dad getting a drink or something."

"Hana, I don't remember anything." I blurted, holding on to her arms that were still wrapped around me. I was hoping for closure from someone I was about to hurt beyond measure. "Hana, it's true. I remember nothing after waking up and being cured. I don't remember my family, I don't remember my friends. I don't even remember you." Hana's hold on me loosened slightly and I was waiting for her to climb back into bed where she didn't have to be close to me.

"Oh Lena. It's not your fault. It's mine." She rested her head against my shoulder, her arms still around me. "I thought maybe you were lying to everyone so they would believe the cure worked."

I turned my head to face her, "Didn't it?"

"I don't know." Hana admitted, "All I know is that there is too much at stake here if it did."

"What?" I asked. "Hana, I'm not following you.

Hana ignored me. "I need to talk to him…" she said softly, she was speaking to herself.

"To who?" I pressed.

"We have less time than I originally thought." Hana was still thinking aloud.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Hush, Lena. I will sort this out, I got you into this, and it's up to me to fix it." She paused. "So you remember nothing?"

"Only what I told everyone before." I replied.

"Hmm…" she bit her lip thoughtfully. "Is that all?" she finally asked.

I began to suddenly wonder what Hana was getting at. "Should I remember more?"

In the darkness I could make out a wide grin that spread across Hana's face. There was a glint in her wide eyes. "Do you want to?"

**~Lel**


	3. Chapter 3

3.

We tried our hardest to be quiet as we quickly dressed and slipped out of the house before either of her parents were awoken. We tiptoed out onto Hana's front lawn, both fully dressed, and each wheeling one of Hana's old bikes we had gotten from the garage. It was already twelve in the morning by now and I didn't need to have a perfect memory to know that we'd be in a lot of trouble if we got caught out at this hour. I was beginning to have second thoughts but Hana's excitement as she got on her bike and began to softly pedal down the Tate's long driveway kept me silent.

I had no idea where we were going or how long it would take to get there. All I knew was that it was important both of us were not heard or seen by anyone. As we biked down a narrow alley way I heard the buzzing sound of walkie-talkies nearby and Hana froze and motioned for me to stop pedalling. We edged closer to the side wall of the alley careful not to make even the tiniest sound. We slunk against the wall like shadows praying that no one would come. We were very lucky when after five minutes the sound slowly disappeared into the night. We continued to ride.

It must have been just after twelve-thirty when we arrived at a big open clearing. I was half asleep as it was and struggled to keep up with Hana. She rode a lot faster than I and her long legs pedalled faster than my own which were burning from the effort. I must not have been as fit as everybody claimed. Hana instructed me to get off my bike and wheel it down this next road. I did as I was told and carefully pushed the bike up the uneven terrain.

The footpaths were mainly dirt with random stones here and there making it hard to keep the bike steady. I understood why Hana had wanted me off: this way I was less likely to have an accident and alert anyone close enough to hear. To my right were brick houses not much bigger than my own. Each house had the doors and windows locked with big metal chains keeping anyone from coming in and the gates all had padlocks. Each house also had a huge black cross spray painted across them. I didn't understand.

"Hana?" I whispered.

"What is it?"

"Why are all these houses locked up? And the huge black-"

She cut me off. "Shh… I'll explain later." We continued up the long street up and down hills of dirt until finally Hana stopped outside the house she had been looking for in particular. She gently let her bike fall to its side on the dirt and I did the same. "Remember this place, Lena?"

I treaded softly towards the small. It was only one storey from what I could see. The roof had dented in the middle and the windows were broken, the glass shattered leaving jagged pieces of glass still attached to the edges. The windows and the door were both bolted up and so was the gate. I touched the metal chain holding the gate shut. It had a gold padlock chaining it together and was cold against my fingertips. Gently moving the chain aside, careful not to make any noise, I examined the number of the house. Hana watched me with cautious eyes, waiting for it all to come together. My heart sped up as I brushed my fingers along the silver metal numbers that were nailed to the small wooden gate. I traced the three with my finger tip and then the seven. 37.

I gasped without meaning to any jumped back in surprise. My eyes were still fixed on the small metal numbers. My skin still tingled from where my finger had touched the cool metal. "It can't be…" I trail off at a loss for words. Fragments of my memory return to me…

"It was cold." I said it so low I doubt Hana even heard me but the surprise in her eyes told me she did. "It wasn't long after midnight and was in a hurry. We were running out of time." I paused long enough to hear Hana's quick intake of breath. "I needed to see him." I reached out, my hands trembling in the darkness. When my fingertips brushed against the cold steel numbers I jumped, surprised by the electric current that shot through my fingers and up my arm by touching it. I reached out again, this time for the padlock. I wrapped my fingers around it and held it tightly.

Hana hasn't spoken, hasn't moved, and hasn't even made a sound. "Lena?"

I ignored her, focusing instead on the sudden stream of thoughts, feelings and emotions that are racing through my mind at that one touch. Suddenly tears ran down my cheeks and blurred my eyes and I didn't try to stop them. My heart ached as I choked out, "It was locked." Hana hadn't come to comfort me and I turned to see her sitting on the ground her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands cradling her head. I squeezed my eyes shut blocking everything else out, focusing solely on the next flashes of memories that enter my mind like a dream. A terrifying, surreal dream.

"They've found us." The words come out strangled and I could feel my heart pounding in my temples. "I can't breathe. Everything hurts. So many floodlights." Hana had slowly crept over to me and wrapped her arms around me as my legs gave out beneath me. "They took him Hana!" I screamed louder than I expected to. His beautiful honey eyes and hair the colour of autumn leaves. They've hurt him and I knew it.

Hana threw a hand over my mouth and told me to be quiet. We stood there in silence for a moment, listening for any signs of people nearby; anybody that had heard my screams. Hana kept her hand fixed over my lips and turned my head so that I was facing her. "Lena, listen to me. He's not dead. They didn't take him. He's out there and he still loves you."

I frowned and pulled my head out of her grasp. "Hana, what are you talking about?"

She pulled away from me. "You were just saying…" she trailed off.

I sighed, "All I remembered was a boy who was with me and then the regulators came and…"

Hana reached for my hand, "Do you remember his name, Lena?"

I gulped, "No." I admitted softly.

She threw my hand down and stormed off kicking at the dirt. "Dammit, Lena! Why can't you remember? I thought maybe if you saw this place you'd remember him. But you still don't know who he is, do you?" I shook my head and she groaned. Finally she walked over to where our bikes lay in the dirt and got on. "Come on Lena. We better get back."

Xxxx

Grace watched me with curious eyes as I read quietly on my bed. She sat in the corner playing with what looked like a mangled teddy bear while she continued to watch me. Every time I turned the page my eyes flicked over to see if she was still watching and she was. It bothered me that I didn't remember Grace in the slightest, she seemed like one of those people you would remember even after everything. Then again so did Hana. "What are you doing there, Grace?" she stared back at me with her wide brown eyes. Did this kid ever speak? I'd spent most of today trying to get her to even crack a smile but I couldn't even manage to do that.

I put the book down and hopped off the bed and walked over to where she sat in the corner. I crouched low so that we were eye to eye. She reached up with a tiny hand and rested her palm against my cheek, her skin warm and soft. She held out the teddy bear for me. I took hesitantly, clutching it under its armpits with each hand. It was missing an ear and eyes and a nose and the thread that once made a mouth had been torn out, leaving little holes where the needle would have gone through. It also was missing its left arm. But other than that and the greyish colouring of its fur, it was just like any other child's teddy bear.

"Is this your teddy bear?" I asked softly, handing the dirty toy back to her. She shook her head and stared back up at me with her big brown eyes. "Whose is it then?" It was probably her sister's, although I couldn't imagine that girl sharing anything. I didn't know Jenny, but I disliked her the second Aunt Carol brought me home. Grace, on the other hand, there was something about her. I didn't know what it was, but I just _liked _her, even if she refused to speak to me. She lifted her hand off my cheek and pointed at me. I frowned, "It's my teddy-bear?"

She nodded, her mouth turned up at the corners, the closest I would probably ever get to a smile. I carefully lifted the bear and had a proper look at it. I guess it wasn't so bad, but how could it have ever been mine? I feel no attachment to it at all. The closer I brought the bear to my face the more I couldn't ignore the horrible smell wafting out of the ratty grey fur. Huh. Maybe it was for the better.

My Aunt had relaxed around me a bit more now although I couldn't understand what I had done to make her tense in the first place. Maybe all this amnesia stuff was really weighing down on her. She had told me last night that now that I was cured my whole life was a clean slate, everything set anew. After what happened with Hana and that house the other night I found myself thinking more and more about my past and more and more about this boy from my memories. The boy with the beautiful auburn hair, the boy everyone was too scared to mention. Hana was the only one who seemed to _want_ me to remember him, although I couldn't quite figure out why. She told me it was because we were best friends.

I realised I would need to do some research on my past. All I knew was that for some reason I couldn't remember my cure date was pushed a few months before it was due. It seems they were in a rush to give it to me. I knew little about the cure, only that it was meant to protect us; to save us from a disease I didn't understand. Love they call it. I would have to do some research on that too. I hadn't been able to get a hold of Hana these last few days and I didn't know why. Her mother kept telling me she was busy.

I handed the filthy soft toy back to Grace and got back up. I hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where I knew Aunt Carol would be. There she was, just look I had predicted and the blare from the living room told me my Uncle and Jenny were watching television. Now was my chance. I took a deep breath and wandered into the kitchen trying to act casual. Carol didn't look up from the dishes she was scrubbing with soapy water in the sink. I pulled out a chair from the table and sat down scratching a dent in the wooden table with my thumbnail.

Aunt Carol sensed my nervousness and looked up. "Lena is everything okay?" she rinsed her hands under the running water from the tap and dried them on the hand towel that she had slung over her right shoulder.

"Aunt Carol, I need to ask you a favour…" Aunt Carol sighed and pulled up a chair beside me and nodded for me to continue. "Can you tell me about my past?"


End file.
